Week #13 100 Word Challenge

One day, 2 robots went haywire in a restaurant and started scraping everything. the 2 kids inside started running around like the world was ending. Then, the children ran outside and went back home. When Pete got home, his brother Yusei said he left their keys in the restaurant. So, Yusei went back and looked for their keys. Yusei found nothing so they tried to squeeze in the window. They got through the window but they were exhausted so Pete fell asleep on the floor. The next day, Pete woke up and forgot what happened. Then, he found some Stardust cards from Yugioh.

Comments

  1. fusionducks7 December 2018 at 09:06

    zzilong889, your 100 word challenge flowed really nicely and I could clearly understand what was happening. For future 100 word challenges make sure you start every sentence with a capital.

    ReplyDelete
  2. gobbstopper077 December 2018 at 09:21

    it was really nice and the descriptions were really good but you never introduced pete and yusei properly

    ReplyDelete
  3. veergupta0037 December 2018 at 09:26

    zzilong889, it had a good flow and the part about "the 2 kids inside started running around like the world was ending." was funny, but you could have worked on having a bit more background.

    ReplyDelete
  4. colegrandia207 December 2018 at 09:30

    Your story was interesting and cool. Although i noticed a small mistake. When you said "the kids inside" you forgot to capitalize "the"

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Week #3 100 Word Challenge

There was a boy, but he wasn't any child. He was a guy who could control wind, time, and seasons. When he changed the wind from north to south, it raised a hurricane that was 200 knots, destroying the world. He then rewound time and the seasons   but it seemed to be going backwards  agonizingly slowly. He saw the hurricane's damage slowly rewind. Then he used his long-shot to hook on a roof then used his other one to get to the top of a building. he ran to his sister's house to take a nap and never again manipulated the wind.
Read more